Reality Check

There are times in our lives that we get so complacent in the mundane that we forget what is real and what we are supposed to be doing. We think that our daily grind is what we are supposed to be doing, when yet there comes a knock or a phone call that really jolts us back to reality.

That is the way it was on Tuesday. I had been harried by work, which only makes a bad day of work even worse. I was a bit down because of the decision that I had to make because the candidate I was supporting for president had dropped out of the race. I was dealing with the cold and the fact that not only is it cold outside, but it is cold inside, too. I was struggling with a decision that my boss made that I thoroughly disagree with. Top it off with the mental anguish that I really want to be doing something totally different with my life, but that I seem to be mired in the quicksand of life and stuck on just about every project that I have started.

I really thought it couldn't get any worse, then I got that phone call from 'Reality' that has made me stop and look at everything in a new perspective - the right perspective.

I met Stephanie in January 2005 through an online group back in Phoenix. The group is all about friendship, kinship and helping others. More times that not, we are that soft shoulder for each other to cry on, that well needed hug and a sympathetic ear to listen. We laugh together and we cry together. We may not always agree, but we are friends. Ironically enough, the group is about 90+% women and yet, I am accepted. Funny is that I am the appointed "Shining Knight and Protector" in the group - a title that I have enjoyed and had to use on a few occasions.

Stephanie and I met for coffee on a few occasions, chatted on the phone a couple times and spent countless sessions together on instant messaging. She was my big sister and friend and more times that I can even count, she was there to bring me back to reality when I was going off the deep end. We had not been as close of friends since both of our families moved on from Phoenix to different parts of the Midwest, but we still emailed each other occasionally and still shared Christmas cards. This Christmas, it was a 'Santa on a Harley' card - as soon as I saw it on the wall where Lisi had put it, I chuckled and knew before looking inside that it was from her. That was Stephanie. Each morning since that card arrived, I have looked at it on my way out the door to go to work and it is a reminder that she is there for me if I need her.

That phone call the other night came from a mutual friend of ours. The news was shocking and totally from out in left field. It was something that completely caught me off guard. My friend Stephanie had passed away.

Stephanie was barely 40. She was, for the most part, in great health. Sure, she had some problems years ago, but had moved on and been doing great from what I know. Now she is gone from our presence and, though I have dealt with death all my life to the point of being content with it, her passing hits me pretty hard for a lot of reasons.

Though she is gone, I will still have her in my heart and my memories. I will probably be reeling from this for a bit, but I know that I will all too soon have the worries of the weather and work and dreams put on a shelf, but I am hoping that - like she would always do - Stephanie will jolt me back to what is real in life and keep me looking straight at what I need to focus on.

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

(from Michael W. Smith's "Friends")