Iowa Caucus - 2012

Well, it is that time again.  Time when we, the American populace, examine what has happened to our country over the past few years, determine what we each feel are issues that need to be addressed and act accordingly.  Those actions are spoken with our vote for the highest office in our own government - the Presidency of the United States.

As a citizen of the State of Iowa, I am fortunate in that my voice is heard first.  From the very heart of this great land, the collective voice yells out which of the candidates are better prepared and have presented what we see as the solutions to our current problems.  After our voice is heard, then the rest of the nation has their say and the field of candidates narrows down to a more manageable size.  The major parties present their best and brightest candidate and we all make a final determination of who we feel is the best person for the highest office in our nation.

The first round in each state is either a primary election or a caucus.  I am fortunate enough to have lived in states that utilize both formats - Arizona is a 'Primary State' and Iowa is a 'Caucus State.' 

When I lived in Arizona, we would go to the polls during the primary election, enter a voting booth, mark our ballot, submit that ballot and then go about our business.  The polls are open all day as they are during any General Election and so you pick a convienient time, drop by, spend a few minutes to vote and then leave.  Pretty much all we did when it concerned politics.  Sure, some got involved, but the majority did not.  So it is in a 'Primary State.'

Here in Iowa, it is quite different and seems to allow for us to each take ownership in our government.  Even the format for the Republican Caucus and Democrat Caucus is different.  Both parties start Caucus at a certain time, go for an hour or two and are done.  When you show up to a Republican Caucus (which is the only I have personally experienced), begin as a group of several precincts meeting in a larger area.  A representative from each candidate (or even the candidate themselves) is given five minutes to speak as to why they are the best person for the position.  You then separate into your individual precinct, elect a chairperson and a secretary from your precinct to lead and record your voice, and then cast your ballot.  Ballots are collected there, tabulated right there, in front of you and you know before you even leave the building, how your precinct voted.  After that, you chose delegates to represent your precinct at the county party convention, discuss what issues you feel the party as a whole should stand for or address (these are called "Planks") and then you are done.  All of the precincts get tabulated together and the totals for each candidate are called into the county party headquarters, where the totals are then sent on to the Secretary of State.

Four years ago was my first experience with the caucus and I was quite pleased and fascinated with the whole thing.  This year, I even took an active roll within my precinct as the secretary and honestly feel it is much better than the primary system - it allows each voice to be heard and allows for neighbors to get better acquainted with each other and address issues on a level that is much closer to home than even can be expressed as it is in a primary state.

Some things get better with time, but for me, I really feel that the old 'tried and true' method of caucusing is the better system.

Happy New Year, 2012

Well, we have done it. We have finished off 2011 and survived it – barely. The train wreck that was 2011 is in the history books and it is time to move on. Out with the old and in with the new.

As you may be aware, I do not get into doing the 'New Year Resolutions.' Instead, I set goals that I look forward to accomplishing. Some may say it is the same, but for me they aren't, as I see resolutions as something that are set and then broken. Goals are driven and made for success. Yes, semantically, they are the same, but the title of 'goal' is more appropriate for me.

With all of the chaos that I entered 2011 with, I really didn't set any goals – other than to survive – and that, I did. This year will be different. This is the year of rebuilding and success. This is going to be a great year.

So, without further adieu, here are my goals for 2012.

• Get the whole house cleaned up. This will mean some smaller goals of:
  • Sort through everything I own and get rid of that which I don't need
  • Scan all magazine and newspaper clippings that I have been saving over the years into the computer and get rid of the hard copies (QST magazine is the only one I will be keeping intact.
  • Get rid of any electronics that I don't need anymore or are obsolete. Recycle what I can, salvage parts I need and get rid of the rest.
• Get all the bills caught up and current
• Find a new place to live.
• Get out of my depressive slump by:
  • Determine everything around me that is constantly tearing me down and holding me in my depression and get rid of it. If it does not have a net positive in my life, it is gone.
  • Determine every person in my life that I deal with that is tearing me down and depressing me and get rid of them – again, if they are a net negative in my life, then they do not deserve to be in my life, regardless of how they are in my life.
  • Figure out how my job affects me and if it isn't a net positive, then I need to find a new job that is a net positive.
• Post more on my blogs
• Start writing each and every day
• Take at least one photo each day and post one or more to the blogosphere/Facebook/Twitter/G+
• Follow through with my ham radio goals posted on my ham radio blog.
• Get back into painting again. Oil, watercolor – regardless of medium, just do it.

There are a lot of things on this list, and I am sure that I will fail to complete some of them, but the biggie is to get happy. I have been depressed for far too long and it is high time that I get better and get further ahead. This will be the hardest thing I do this year, however, it has to be done and I cannot let anyone or anything stand in my way. Change hurts, but the benefits outweigh the hurt.

Ok, lets get on with it then.

I hope you all have a great and blessed 2012.

Reflecting on 2011

Well, here we are at the end of another year, like the odometer turning past zero again, most of us look at this as a new start. We tend to reflect on what happened this year and what we want to change or see happen in the next. These reflections tend to lead to resolutions that make tomorrow. I will share here (as I have in the past) what has happened this year and tomorrow, I will post what goals I have in the coming year.

This year has been a pretty bad year for me. I have been battling an evil monster all year long that has nearly won, but since I am of a survivor personality, I will get through it. I may not be unscathed from this war, but I will surely wear my war wounds proudly – once I get through it. That monster is known more commonly as depression.

It started the first week of December of 2010 with a particular creditor taking ¾ of my take-home pay each week. At first I tried to ignore the action and will it away, but that didn't happen. I finally called them and started to work with them once I had my water shut off in April. We reached a payment agreement (or so I thought) and we went on with life with a little more of my paycheck but still a little poorer than usual. Since my pay is the only income in the house, we were already just treading and now the ship was sitting a lot lower in the water.

Then, in May, Lisi decided that she wanted to move back to Arizona. She wasn't happy here and wanted to pursue her dreams. I reluctantly gave in and gave my blessings to that. As the captain of the sinking ship, I threw her to the life raft and went on – no sense in her going down with the ship.

June came and the start of summer. Time that we would normally be spending exploring the wonders of this part of the country were suspended because of the financial situation. As a wanderlust, traveling around is a huge happy place for me and because I couldn't go, I was mired a bit deeper into the fight with depression.

Another blow in June was reading the local newspaper that I was going to have to find a new place to live. The city has been working on creating an open drainage channel – recreating a natural creek that ran through this part of town before the early 1900's – for the past 3 or 4 years. We were reassured several times by the city and the landlady that the house where we live was safe from the wreaking ball, but the city changed their mind and started the process of acquiring this property and a couple others around us. The kicker was that I learned of this via a newspaper story and not from the landlady (she missed the newspaper story and learned of it from me). Nice that city didn't even ask for our input. Another battle score for the beast.

July arrived all too quickly and I ticked off another milestone of my life – I turned 42. My understanding of life is that I should be in the happiest of years (think of Douglas Adams and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy here), yet, I instead went deeper into my battle. Three days after my birthday, another tragedy – flood.

July 27th at approximately 6pm local time, the rains started at a rate of about an inch per hour. Because our town is quite hilly, a lot of water like that quickly fills creeks and washes. By 7pm, we started getting 1 ¼ inch hail and even more rain. The hail lasted about 30 minutes, but I was unscathed by it (save one small spot on the truck roof on the passenger side). The rain continued and I eventually figured that the rain was slowed and we were okay, so I fell asleep around midnight. At 12:30 the neighbor came over to announce that my truck that was parked in the street was floating away. That is when I looked outside to see three feet of water in the street and cars floating about. My truck was still somewhat safe, but I decided to move it before it did float. In 12 hours, we had over 15 inches of rain dumped on us. I spent the next 3 days pumping basements and replacing water heaters and sump pumps all over town. Score another for depression and his counterpart exhaustion.

I survived August and thought I had survived September, but then on the last day of the month, I was involved in a stupid accident at work. Honestly, I thought I was going to lose my job, but – for some odd reason – I still have my job, barely.

At the end of October, Lisi left here for Phoenix. Sadness and a major tailspin into the depths of depression. I honestly thought that the pit couldn't get any lower, but then that creditor that I was making payments to, seized my bank account. If I hadn't already felt like Job from the Bible, I surely felt like it now. I just held onto the hope that I would survive it through the end of the year.

November and December have rolled through here and all seems okay.

I honestly believe I can make it. I have been focused on things that give me a sense of fulfillment and enjoy doing. I have started getting back into genealogy and photography as well as focusing on amateur radio (which I attained another milestone by passing the test for the highest class license in October). I have also been working on defining who I am and where I am wanting to be in life, instead of just surviving each day.

I have also been blessed to have a dear, dear friend that is helping me focus on my battle. I have made some progress in pulling myself up out of this hole and working on fighting the good fight against depression. I am not as reclusive as I was just a couple months ago and I will eventually be coming out of my shell a bit more. It is a daily toil and, even though there have been and will be small setbacks, overall, I am getting better.

There are most assuredly changes that are about. I will continue with the good in my life and getting rid of the 'garbage' that haunts me and brings me down. Some of those changes will be bittersweet and tough to make, but I have to make them in order to become a better person to those around me and, most importantly to myself. More on those tomorrow – in the new year.

Take care today and tonight as you celebrate the passing of the time from 2011 to 2012. Be safe and sane and I will see you all again next year. That, I promise.

Zonie